Posh Totty
by Vaneria Potter
Summary: A continuation of 'Head Girl'. Everyone has a label. Geeks are defined by their brains, Emos by their morbidness, Head Girls and First Years by their ranking. But if you take away the giggles and glamour, what are Posh Totty?
1. Chelsea

_Disclaimer: Can anyone own St Trinian's? I certainly don't._

_Summary: Second in my St. Trinian's series. What are Posh Totty, beneath the surface?_

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CHELSEA

A long time ago, I learned that a woman be one of two things, if she wants to get anywhere in life.

A woman can be intelligent, and be admired and respected, but not without having to prove herself over and over, to be thought half as good as a man. Or a woman can be beautiful, can be admired and even worshiped, with men knowing that they can never reach her, but be treated as a porcelain doll.

A woman cannot be both. An intelligent woman can be respected for her mind, while a beautiful woman can be admired for her body. A woman in possession of both will be feared and outcast, because men have never and probably will never accept that they are not the top of the food chain.

My mother used to read me the classics, before I left for school. One of my favourites was '_Northanger Abbey'_, and a particular quote swiftly became my first Rule To Live By: "_A woman, especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can."_

A woman, if she have the misfortune of being in possession of both beauty and brains, should hide one behind a mask of the other.

St Trinian's, the school that my parents sent me to, is much the same. Government authorities see it as a menace, a place to send those who don't fit into any of their nice little moulds, an institution to be avoided at all costs. The staff and students of St Trinian's see it as a place to be themselves, a school where they can learn and grow in fields that suit them best, rather than be force-fed a curriculum put together by a bunch of stuffed shirts.

St Trinian's is a place that will prepare girls for the world. Women are slowly working their way to being viewed as equals in the world, but I don't know if they'll make it in my lifetime. If they do, I'll have very little time left to enjoy both at once.

So I focused on being beautiful.

I concealed my mind behind a mask of make-up and magazines became the leader of the popular crowd, who also had no intention of making their way through life on brains. I made sure to say something particularly idiotic on a regular basis, especially if I had just said something clever, and to act like a brainless twit when expected, even if my mind was running a thousand miles a minute.

I allowed myself to be treated as an object, or an ornament, because while people admire an ornament, they don't really notice it. Walls may have ears, but ornaments have ears, eyes, and an information/gossip network.

Some of the Geeks figured it out, using a misplaced hockey stick, or teddy bear, or dog collar as a way to plant spy cameras. But even Lily, smart enough to take over the world if she wanted, didn't realize the true potential.

Men pay little attention to a beautiful woman, and do not guard their words, more intent on what is in front of their eyes than what is coming out of their mouth. They say things in bed that they would never say in public. A smile and a flirtatious wink will almost always get you anything you want faster than any bribe in the world.

Sleeping with a member of the royal family won't get you into Parliament, but it will turn up a few juicy tidbits of information. A little 'alone time' with a young security guard at the British Museum got us most of the information we needed to pull off the Heist to save the school, and a little digging in the public records retrieved the rest.

We couldn't study the School Challenge answers beforehand like we did with Appleby, and after seeing what happened to Bedales, Eton weren't going near any food or drink before the show. An hour or so with Posh Totty, however, and they were lucky to remember their own names.

Queen Elizabeth the First and Queen Victoria ruled in their own names, and were two of the most powerful reigns in English history. They are the rarity, however. Other queens have been great, but they ruled from behind the scenes, or in the name of their children.

School Challenge saved our school, but it had other benefits, as well. If you've just come off a quiz show, then, as Ms. Dickenson pointed out, smart is cool and sexy, and killer looks are just a bonus.

These days, media coverage can be worth more than centuries of Noble Pedigree. I don't need to be in government to be powerful. All I need are Girlish Wiles, Saucy Ways, a healthy dose of Criminal Cunning, and the opportune moment on camera.

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A/N: Not too pleased with the ending, but it's the best I could come up with. Thanks to **SophieeAnne **for suggesting it.  
As always, Constructive Criticism is appreciated, but no flames, please. The First Years are Arsonists-In-The-Making already, and don't need the encouragment.


	2. Peaches

_Disclaimer: Really, could anyone own St Trinian's? I certainly don't._

_Summary: See Previous Chapters_

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Posh Totty 2 – Peaches

I am the odd one out.

There are three of us in Posh Totty; Chelsea, Chloe and myself, Peaches. Chelsea and Chloe are blonde and classically lovely, while I am the dark, 'exotic' beauty.

Chelsea and Chloe are opposite ends of the spectrum. Chelsea is a 'Femme Fatale': beautiful, clever, and could probably rule the world, if she had the inclination and a Geek for the administrative side of things. Chloe is a bit of a ditz, but she knows it, and doesn't pretend otherwise.

I am the middle. I am clever, but not smart enough to be on the same level as Chelsea or one of the Geeks. I am pretty enough to skate through life on my looks, but smart enough that it would bore me if I didn't have something else to occupy myself with.

Sleeping with the future King of England isn't something you can really put on a CV, but then, neither are half of the other things we learn at St. Trinian's. It's what's inside that impresses or traumatizes the world when we leave. School Challenge got me the attention I need to do whatever I want after school, and I'm good enough at seeing the big picture that I won't spend life in a slum.

When our earpieces stopped working, I could feel Chloe and Chelsea start to inwardly panic. I knew that we didn't have the answers, but I went on trying to answer them anyway, showing no hint of fear. I knew that I was getting them all wrong, that I was facing public humiliation, but it didn't matter. We were on School Challenge so that Kelly and the others could steal that painting. Public attention was just an extra.

We were a distraction, and that was all. Each time I pressed the button was a delay tactic, a few seconds when Cheltenham couldn't answer, when all attention was on me, not the girls carefully making their way over a wire ten meters above us.

Chelsea and Chloe pulled themselves together after the break, and I faded back into the background as they answered questions, as Kelly, Andrea and Taylor pulled off the heist, as Headmistress Fritton took out Minister Thwaits, and the newly-transformed Annabelle put the bitch of a Thwaits Junior down for the count.

It's another thing that will never go on my CV, but I must say that I'm proud of the role Posh Totty played in that Transformation, bringing out the strong Inner-Annabelle by making her look and feel confident and sexy, rather the gangly and insecure child in a strange new world. I like Annabelle. She's another 'odd one out', with the potential to do great things.

Just like me.

I am not a ditz, or a Femme Fatale, but I don't need to be.

I am Posh Totty, and that is more than enough.

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_A/N: Not totally happy with this one, but I couldn't for the life of me do anything to make it better._

_As always, reviews are very appreciated, as I am still getting a feel for this fandom, and before you flame, think about if you really want Tara and Tanya getting their hands on more means of wanton destruction.  
Thanks, Nat._


	3. Chloe

Disclaimer: I don't own St Trinian's, and I don't want to. I'd probably die of heart failure before thirty, with a quarter of what they get up to.

Summary: See previous chapters.

**CHLOE**

I am Posh Totty, and that is all I ever intend to be.

Chelsea is the one who will take over the world, if she so chooses and Peaches is more than she would have you believe. I am a blonde airhead who runs a chat line, and I have every intention of remaining that way.

I base my life around boys, and what I can do for them, or what they can do for me.

We all have things that we are best at. Polly, the Head of the Geeks, is best at infiltration and plans for Breaking and Entering and Getting Out Safely. The First Year twins, Tara and Tanya, are arsonists in the making. Andrea from the Emo Squad can Out-Morbid the Grim Reaper.

I can tell the difference between what will remain a suggestive conversation, and what will be blatantly child-inappropriate within the first few words of a sentence, and arouse a Eunuch.

There are women who are destined to lead from the shadows, and those who really will do best as arm-candy, who will be happy that way, no matter what the Feminist Movements may claim.

It goes both ways, anyway. When you get down to it, a Prince Regent isn't much more than a Queen's arm candy, and the same goes for the non-Hollywood husbands of famous singers or actresses, who no-one has ever heard of outside of the wedding report in a magazine. I knew the capital of Burkina Faso because I had a boyfriend from there, but we broke up because I didn't want to be tied down, and he was looking to be the significant other of a future-power-woman, and that simply wasn't me.

I would have pointed him at Kelly Jones, if I didn't know that she was forming plans to snag Flash Harry as soon as she graduated and her interactions with him were no longer restricted to 'Business'. But I digress.

I have no interest or need of power or influence, of prestige or reputation. Call me a Nymphomaniac, if you wish, but I will not be ashamed, for that industry is my ambition.

I am Posh Totty, and that is how I will stay.

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A/N: So, there is Posh Totty done. Should I continue with the other ones? If so, which do you want to see next? Geeks, Chavs, First-Years or Emos?

_As always, reviews and constructive criticism is very much appreciated, and the first-years don't need any more means for random destruction-by-fire, so please no flaming._

_Thanks, Nat._


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